INTRODUCTION
Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen. I am especially honored to have been invited to give a keynote address to this highly respected organization. In return, by the time this talk is finished, I will probably have insulted everybody in this room. I will try to do this fairly, with no regard to religion, race, or technical persuasion. I consider myself an equal-opportunity offender. 

I will start by insulting myself. I am a hypocrite, as I will explain to you later. 

This conference is titled Multidisciplinary Solutions for California Ground Water Issues. In that context, I would like to identify that discipline that I consider to be the most important, the most powerful, and the most crucial for investigating ground water and providing solutions to California's ground water issues. Boy, have I got a discipline for you! 

For many years, the discipline has been in operational limbo. The hydrogeological profession provides it little shrift, often treats it with disdain, and sometimes ignores it completely. 

Yet, the discipline is fundamental to the proper use and integration of all the other disciplines that you will examine in this conference. When that discipline is properly used, it gets us ninety percent of what we need to know in understanding ground water and what controls it. And it does this at far less than the costs of the other disciplines those that get us a part of that last ten percent. 

The discipline is : I'm not going to tell you just now. I would rather lead up to it by means of a little philosophy. 

When I accepted your invitation, I thought I would describe a rather nice technique that would fit into the multidisciplinary theme of this conference - the use of temperatures to trace the movement of ground water. In the course of hydrogeological investigations near Burbank, this technique revealed something interesting about the ground water. And in turn, the ground water told us something interesting about the geology. 

That's the point: the ground water told us something interesting about the geology: namely that the eastern part of the San Fernando Valley might be crossed by a northwest-trending extension of the Whittier Fault. If true, this could be a significant finding in the geology of the Southland. 

And then I realized that in the course of this work I had sinned. How had I sinned? I had gone out and committed hydrogeology. I had used hydrology to learn about the geology. 

To make matters worse, not only had I committed hydrogeology; I even got myself certified as a hydrogeologist. Therein lies the hypocrisy. I got myself certified as a hydrogeologist even though I am profoundly averse to this misfortunate, this misleading, this dangerous term. 

Think about it. "HYDRO-GEOLOGY". In this term, geology is a noun. Hydro is only a modifier of that noun. This hybrid term implies that the objective is geology, and that we are using hydrology to get us to the geology. 

This is dangerous. If we forget that geology is the means to achieving the hydrological objective, we can pay superficial attention to the geology and leap to premature and inadequate conclusions about the ground water. 

THE CRUCIAL DISCIPLINE
So what IS that powerful, crucial discipline? It is NOT our company's thermal technique for tracing the movement of ground water and finding a new fault in the San Fernando Valley. That technique is nice, but it's not crucial. 

The most powerful discipline available for solving the Groundwater Issues of California is used superficially if it is used at all. In these days, it is often despised among hydrogeological sophisticates who teach in or graduate from prestigious academic institutions. That's because the most important tools of this discipline are a pencil and a piece of paper. At a higher level of technical complexity, the tools are a hammer, a hand lens, a compass, and a shovel. Few hydrogeological sophisticates know or remember how to use these tools. 

Ground water lives in the geology. Ground water is controlled by the geology. The powerful, crucial discipline for solving ground water problems consists of going out into the field and doing geology. Really doing geology. Doing real geology. Mapping. Describing. Interpreting. And based on abundant geological data, formulating and prioritizing multiple working hypotheses that relate to the ground water problems. 

In the archives of Sacramento, I am a HYDROGEOLOGIST. They can think that if they wish, but I know better. What I am is a GEOLOGICAL HYDROLOGIST. I do geology - a lot of it - to learn about hydrology. Today, Sacramento and the University of Arizona notwithstanding, I emerge from the closet as a GEOHYDROLOGIST. I use this term with great pride. It was introduced many years ago by ground water professionals much wiser than I.

MULTI-DISCIPLINARY APPROACH
The title of this conference brings to mind all sorts of new and wondrous things. We are here to look at new technologies, new arts, new states of old arts, wonderful new hardware, wonderful new software, breakthroughs in water quality analysis down to the trillionth and heading toward the quadrillionth. The journals are filled with elegant mathematical derivations that are so complex, so convoluted, and so involved that only a small intellectual elite can understand them. Or do they? 

The journal Ground Water is still a rather useful publication because it has not yet reached the sophistication of Water Resources Research. Almost nobody reads Water Resources Research. Almost nobody wants to. Almost nobody in our profession can follow the glut of esoteric mathematical symbols, the profusion of terms that defy explanation, and graphs that are sometimes so complex as to be ludicrous. Water Resources Research will get you tenure in Academia or another government grant in a national lab. But it won't get you much water. Why not? Because it does not sufficiently recognize what the geology of this planet is really like. 

The perplexed members of the tenure committee (I used to be one of them) can't understand the articles either. The articles are so incomprehensibly complex that the writer must really be smart. Gee, we'd better give this one tenure. 

Pick up any issue at random, and you will find it filled with games. These are mind games purporting to explain how ground water works under different conditions of the setting. Few of these games are based on a real-world geological study. Most of these games are based on nothing but conceptual-model departures from the Theis Assumptions. Most of these game-players look more into the computer screen than into the ground. 

And the data-logger, that idiot-savant, is more and more replacing the sentient, judgmental human observer in the field. 

And that naked emperor, the Unified Soil Classification effectively conceals and prevents from any useful interpretation just what the drill is bringing up out of the ground; that which the ground water has to travel through. 

Darcy's Law and the Theis Nonequilibrium Equation are the best tools we have going for us in trying to quantify and predict the flow of ground water. Scratch Water Resources Research, and you will keep on finding Theis. Commendably, what those tenure-and-grant seekers are trying to do is to make Theis work in the complexities of the real world. 

But they can only approximate. And to the extent that their models are not based on geological reality, their supposed solutions to water problems are not very useful (how many times have you been able to use them)? 

Because as you know, the Theis Nonequilibrium Equation is based on assumptions. Twelve of them. You know what they are: such things as horizontal, infinite, homogeneous and isotropic, fully penetrating, 100 per cent efficiency in a pumping well of infinitesimal radius, and on and on. 

And almost none of these assumptions is correct in the real world. Each of these assumptions departs from reality in varying degrees depending on the geology of a particular setting. 

With twelve assumptions, and with the geology of each site varying in different amounts, the number of permutations involving the twelve assumptions is enormous. Enough to keep the tenure-and-grant-seekers playing mind games until the end of the next Millennium. 

So our most valuable tools for quantifying and predicting the flow of ground water are not easy to use. They must be applied with great skill and with great insight. Their value - success or failure with ground water issues - will depend directly on how well the geological details at each site are known. 

And that, my geological colleagues, is where you come in. 

Because if the Theis Assumptions were correct; if aquifers were isotropic and homogeneous, no hydrogeologists or geohydrologists would ever be needed. Anybody could put three observations wells around a pumping well, install some dataloggers and a computer will answer all the questions you have been struggling to answer in this real, horribly complex world. 

Your success with ground water depends entirely on finding out which of the Theis Assumptions are reasonable; and how their variations are distributed laterally and vertically in space and in time. And which of the Theis Assumptions are not reasonable. This means nothing more (and nothing less) than understanding the geology in which our water lives: the geology of its source and the geology of the three dimensional space in which it moves. 

There are only two types of professionals that think an aquifer is homogeneous and isotropic: water witches and civil engineers. 

Geologists know better. Geologists know that if you want to prevent technical and financial disaster with a lot of unnecessary drilling; if you want to control the ground water; if you want to take more water out of the ground; if you want to put more water into the ground; if you want to understand the interchange between surface water and ground water; if you want to protect the environment; you had better know as much about the geology as you can before you send a drill bit into the ground. 

And especially before you construct a computer model. What about THOSE assumptions? 

It is the geology that controls the ground water, and I have never known an excellent ground water hydrogeologist who was not at the same time an excellent geologist. 

Tomorrow, a much better Keynote Speaker will tell you about water on Europa. A fascinating, stupendous concept. 

But keep in mind, you geologists, that it is probably easier to see water halfway across the Solar System than three hundred feet beneath where you now sit. The intervening space between here and the water on Europa is transparent. Beneath this room, the space that intervenes between you and the ground water is filled with what to the non-geologist is chaos. 

And only you geologists can perceive order and extract comprehension out of that chaos. The mathematicians can't do it. The physicists and chemists can't do it. The biologists can't do it. The engineers can't do it. The lawyers can't do it. Only you can do it. 

Do not abdicate to the Unified Soil Classification and to the exclusive use of the data-logger your responsibility to really know the geology. Your responsibility is awesome. Because what you are struggling to make available to the life that inhabits this planet is the gift of its very survival. 

To the geologists in this audience, I say, listen to the presentations in this fine conference. Keep in mind that all the wonderful new disciplines that you will hear about can be effective only if they are applied into a context of geological understanding. Those disciplines can enhance, they can refine, but they can never replace the 90 percent of geological understanding that only you can provide. 

HYDROGEOLOGIST - GEOHYDROLOGIST, call yourself what you will. But always remember: Geology is the Discipline that has to come first. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I thank you very much. 

Joseph H. Birman is Professor Emeritus, Occidental College and is President of Geothermal Surveys, Inc. (dba Gsi/water). Gsi/water, a Los Angeles based geological-geophysical company, in its 35th year of business specializing in: Ground water resources exploration and assessment; well location and design; aquifer and well performance testing; hydrologic modeling; dam leakage detection and monitoring; environmental hydrology and monitoring; geothermal resources exploration; landfill monitoring; and video-based fracture analysis.